This Cat is NED Episode 16 – The Negotiator


In this episode of This Cat is NED, Ned’s inner capitalist is awoken and he draws on some of the best negotiating techniques used by children everywhere to proposition Will for startup capital for one of his ventures.

This cat is Ned. He once accidentally hypnotised the postman, and in the ensuing chaos Amazon had to temporarily suspend their service. Recently a lost city was uncovered deep in the amazon with a giant statue of a God-like figure baring a striking resemblance to Ned… no statues resembling Will were found.
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Ned may not be a trained medical professional but he is eager and armed with probably mostly accurate information from the internet:

Ned finds a new body, which triggers his big imagination. Not being one to let stature go to his head, Ned humbly dishes out advice for the little people:

Ned always wants to be there for Will, even when he’s in the bathroom or herding cattle:

Ned is very creative when it comes to passing time on any given day. See how he role-plays, naps and interacts with fruit here:

While he is highly compassionate to telemarketers (which is why he’s much loved in India), he has little empathy toward dogs:

Ned not only has impeccable hygiene but he also a great communicator when it comes to his litter box:

As with most cats, Ned is nocturnal. He likes using this time to have meaningful discussions with Will and to research issues online:

For quality control reasons, Ned would like to categorically disassociate himself from the other cats of the Internet such as:

• Cats that chase laser pointers, because they’re gullible
• Cats that try to jump and slip and fall, because they embarrass the species
• Grumpy cat, because his attitude sucks
• Serious cat, because it’s not so serious
• Keyboard cats, because your rhythm is off
• Lolcats, because they’re not funny
• Cats that don’t mind dogs, because their taste sucks
• Mr Bigglesworth, because he looks freaky
• I can has cheezburger, because no dah you can..
• Cats that get a fright and jump into the air, because they should be prepared
• Cats with pumpkin helmets because it’s bad ear hygiene
• Furry fat faced cats, because they look ridiculous
• Funny cat videos, if they’re not very funny
• Cat compilations, because they diminish the viewers brain capacity
• Kittens of any kind, because they’re immature
• Cats in costumes because that is cat abuse

This week, Ned’s search history includes:
• Allowance guidelines for children
• Allowance guidelines for pets
• Why shouldn’t pets get an allowance
• How to start your own billion dollar tech startup 2015
• Best Origami 2014
• Origami Rhino